Today, I was asked what I want in life. It put me into deep thinking and into another world. What do I want in life? Never in my life had I ever wanted anything so precise with all my heart. It was just the little materialistic things which didn’t hold a place in my heart, for which I felt a want just because the society, the majority considered it wanted, the exclusive. But I couldn’t care less. It was all show.
Then I wandered a place so quiet you only hear the hum of the birds or the buzzing of the bee. A place where there were indeed no expectations, no responsibilities, no competitions against your own breed. Where there is no tension, no stress, no worries for who is looking the best. A little offering that sways you from the track that you have to mount everyday without question. A time when you don’t have to question anything and do exactly that you feel to. A silence of this ever wondering mind and a full stop to figuring out what to say, what to do, how to behave and how to be you. Warm tea in the morning when the sun rays kiss your skin and cold cream when it waves you good-bye with a hope of another day. A joy and ecstasy, all offered but not in this chaos. No beliefs, just you and your little world. Solitude. Peace. Serving the needy until your end gulps you. This is what this world, or rather life wouldn’t let me have. Maybe because the judgements would crush me, the loneliness would eat me up. Because what is beauty without love, love without sacrifice and sacrifice without hunger. And, I realized, what I want is to die young.